Friday, December 30, 2005

I have often had funny theories about death, sarcastic, mindless, and totally childish, they seem now. Last few days haven’t been easy for me, as I am still not able to come to terms with the reality of death of my Sanjeev kaka. And his death, has allowed me to think about this real, normal and difficult phenomenon.
I have read of few religions, in which the followers celebrate death. And that I was used to the aftermath of one’s death I had developed some strange and equally funny theories about death, which I thought would get rid of so much agony, the close one’s of the dead go through. I thought that, the one who is to die should simply disappear in air, or deep forests, before he or she dies so that the close one’s do not suffer so much, out of crying and mourning the death. But now, I realize it is not all that simple, to not to mourn. Saying that I have still not come to terms with his death is because, it seems that he knew he was nearing his end. He took us to his village where he was born, he brought us his favorite paan(betel nut leaf with spices), and to sum it all up, told me few things, which I never expected him to tell me, for I was still a kid for him, as he used to say. And now that he is gone, I feel I should have known a further more of him, his thoughts, should have shared his knowledge, and …….may be should have offered him my favorite “Paan”!

So easily, you walked away,
in the fading sunlight,
when it was a new morning for you and all,
the beard still scraggy,
but I touched it when you were not,
thou feet, like stone or ice,
but melted a sea of tears in my heart.
I cried like a baby, to get you back,
But you lay there, on your pire,
Your eyes still volatile,
I thought you would open those,
And talk to me.
With you on the pire, they placed heavy logs on you,
And the child in me shouted, hey watch out!
He may get hurt, no blood should come out of him,
It will pain him, while he is so dead, quiet.
As I still believed, you would rise, place that long arm of
Yours on my shoulders, and say,
Lets share a “paan” today, buddy!


Blogger blah_blah_blogger said...

Well, one could go on and on, giving consolation but in the end, it's the person himself who needs to come out of such a situation...

10:45 AM  

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